Coffee morning catch-up - March 27th

Coffee morning catch-up - February 27th

Date: Friday 27th March 2026
Topic: Understanding Neurodiversity: ADHD, Autism & Beyond

Thank you to everyone who joined our March virtual coffee morning. It was a thoughtful and open discussion, with parents and carers sharing experiences, questions, and supportive ideas. For those who were unable to attend, below is an overview of the key themes, discussions, and practical strategies shared during the session.

Welcome and introduction

We began by reflecting on last month’s session on Raising Respectful, Inclusive Young People, before introducing this month’s focus: Understanding Neurodiversity: ADHD, Autism & Beyond.

We recognised that every child’s brain develops differently, and that differences in thinking, learning, and processing are a natural part of being human.

Key message shared:

“Our aim isn’t to label children – it’s to understand them better.”

What is neurodiversity

We explored what neurodiversity means and how understanding has evolved over time. Parents reflected on how awareness of ADHD, autism, and related profiles has increased, helping to reduce stigma and promote acceptance however, there are still misconceptions out there in society.

Key ideas discussed:

Neurodiversity describes natural differences in how brains think and learn
Differences often come with both strengths and challenges
Early understanding can build confidence and reduce shame

Key message:

“Different brains aren’t broken brains – they’re differently wired.”

Understanding ADHD & Autism

We discussed how neurodivergent profiles may present differently in children, including how traits can vary between individuals and may look different in girls compared to boys.

Key discussion points:

Behaviour is often a form of communication
Children may experience differences in attention, communication, sensory processing, or emotional regulation
Strengths are just as important to recognise as challenges

Strengths highlighted by parents:

Creativity and imagination
Deep focus on interests
Honesty and authenticity
Energy and enthusiasm
Unique ways of solving problems

Masking, burnout & emotional wellbeing

A particularly powerful part of the discussion focused on masking and emotional exhaustion. Parents shared experiences of children who appear to cope well in school but struggle more at home.

Key insights:

Masking involves hiding difficulties to fit in
This can lead to anxiety, meltdowns, or withdrawal
Emotional regulation often needs to be taught and modelled
Building connection should come before correction

Key message:

“Sometimes the child coping best in school is the one most exhausted at home.”

Assessment & diagnosis pathways

We explored the process of seeking assessment and diagnosis in the UK, including common challenges such as waiting times and uncertainty.

Parents also shared their own experiences, including reflections on receiving an autism diagnosis in adulthood. These conversations highlighted how increased understanding later in life can bring clarity, validation, and self-acceptance.

Key message:

“A diagnosis doesn’t change your child – it changes the understanding around them.”

Supporting children at home and school

This part of the discussion was particularly emotive, with parents sharing their experiences of how challenging it can be for mainstream school environments to fully support neurodivergent children.

Many parents spoke about the gap between children wanting to attend school, socialise, and take part in activities, and the reality of how overwhelming or unsupported those environments can feel. Despite clear signs that children were struggling, there was a shared feeling that support is not always readily available or easily implemented within mainstream settings.

This can sometimes lead to children being unable to attend school or participate in events, even when they genuinely want to be there.

In contrast, parents reflected that home environments can often be adapted more easily to meet their child’s needs, allowing them to feel safer, calmer, and better understood.

The discussion highlighted the importance of continued advocacy, understanding, and flexibility across all environments.

Key message:

“Adjusting the environment isn’t always simple but feeling understood makes all the difference.”

Talking to children about their differences

Parents explored how to have open and supportive conversations with children about neurodiversity.

Key reminders:

Be honest in an age-appropriate way
Focus on strengths as well as challenges
Help children understand themselves positively
Encourage self-advocacy over time

Key message:

“Different is not less.”

When to seek further support

We discussed signs that a child or family may benefit from additional support:

Ongoing emotional distress
School avoidance
Sensory overwhelm
Difficulties with friendships
Parental burnout

A key takeaway was the importance of seeking support early and remembering that families are not alone.

Key Takeaways for Parents and Carers

Neurodiversity is a natural part of human variation
Behaviour communicates unmet needs
Strengths and challenges can coexist
Early understanding reduces shame
Small adjustments can have a big impact

Closing message:

“Every child deserves to be understood before they are corrected.”

Helpful support and community resources

NHS – ADHD & Autism support and guidance
National Autistic Society – parent and school resources
ADHD Foundation – practical support and advice
YoungMinds – emotional wellbeing support
Contact – support for families with additional needs

Additional resources recommended by parents:

Wilderness Foundation – nature-based wellbeing support
SENsational – SEND activities and support
MyMax Card – discounts for families of children with additional needs
NeuroBetter – resources and community support
Zones of Regulation – regulation skills and support for children and young people